Tired tired tired.

Sep. 2nd, 2025 07:39 am
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[personal profile] joshuaorrizonte
 I hate working! 

I hate feeling like this. I’m so tired, and I don’t know why. I didn’t update yesterday because I was just so tired for most of the day. I slept until 9:30, so I don’t understand why that was. I started feeling better in the evening, but still not great. 

And now I’m at work, and I’m so tired my eyes are hot. I hate that sensation. 

I also had to wash my hands again this morning. I had some kind of black stuff on my fingers—like the kind of stuff you get on your hands when handling car parts. I don’t know where it came from, but there was a lot of it. 

Gosh, I’m so tired, I don’t want to do this anymore. This, specifically, not life or anything like that, although I could use a break from life, too. I think I’m going to go put a cold, wet paper towel on my eyes. 

Okay, that helped. 

I’m going to do my best today. Ken isn’t in, so I get to listen to my ipod all day, which I’m going to do. 

We need payday to hurry up and come, although it won’t be until Thursday this week, I’m pretty sure. We have six cents to our name, and that’s… pretty bad. I’m going to end up using my allowance for my dermatologist appointment. Hopefully that doesn’t cut into the funds I need for an order I placed in early August. I don’t know why it hasn’t shipped yet, but it’s supposed to get here on September 11. 

Speaking of September 11, Cal has his appointment with the orthopedist that day. I’m debating taking the day off for it. I don’t want to look like a hypocrite when it comes to major health issues, and I think I will if I’m not with him for it. I’ll talk to him about it. 

Anyway, that seems to be all I have to talk about for now, so I’ll wrap this up. Toodles.

Phantasy Star completed

Aug. 31st, 2025 11:04 am
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[personal profile] joshuaorrizonte
 It’s Sunday, and I have tomorrow off for Labor day. Yaaaay. 

It’s a high pain day today. My… well… everything hurts. Including the center of my chest, which is disturbing. It also hurts when I take a deep breath. I’m going to try to take it easy today. So far we’ve finished up the grocery shopping, and that’s about it. 

I finished Phantasy Star last night. The penultimate boss was harder than the last one; I lost the penultimate fight, and thought I’d lose it a second time because my characters kept missing. It came down to a duel between Alis and the boss, and she landed the final strike before the one that would kill her. I also was very glad I had a transfer, because otherwise I’d have soft-locked the game at that point 

There are actually a few places you can soft-lock the game, at least one of which is intentional. The guard at the start of a dungeon  will tell you to go left, but if you do, you’ll fall into a pit from which you need to teleport out of. If you have no method of teleportation, you’re screwed. The potential soft-lock at the end is possibly intentional, too. No transfer, no Myau, no Noah, and no MP, and you can’t get out of the final area. And that boss is very hard, so you’ll probably have no MP, and I had no Myau and no Noah. I had a transfer, though, thanks to reading the walkthrough. 

So now I’m on to Lunar: Eternal Blue, because I don’t have the other Phantasy Star games. Very well, Lunar: The Silver Star was good fun, and Ed says that LEB is the real gem there. 

I also have a dermatologist appointment on Tuesday, for which I do not have copay. I’ll figure it out, I’m sure. 

Anyway, I’m probably going to try to write a bit before lunch, and then play some video games before cleaning a little bit, if I can.

Depression and whatnot

Aug. 30th, 2025 11:06 am
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[personal profile] joshuaorrizonte
 Saturday, and the start of a long weekend. 

I’m going to be honest with you guys; I haven’t been updating because I’m so goddamn depressed. I don’t know what to do about it. My ED therapist wants me to try behavior activation, which is something I was doing before when I would get depressed. It’s just the act of doing things anyway to break the rot state and build momentum. It won’t cure the depression but it will let you accomplish things. 

That’s what I’m doing now, actually. I’m going to update my journal, and then write for a while, in part because 4TheWords has a new format to the adventure tab that I absolutely love. Finally, I can sort monsters by quest and word count on mobile, which is where I do most of my writing. I don’t know what I’m going to do when my ipad is obsolete. Probably get a new one, but I love this little device so much. Music, writing, videos, video games… This little bastard can do it all. 

A friend is having a hell of a time lately. Zie ended up in the ER a week or so ago, and hir d-dimer was slightly elevated, which is alarming on the same level of troponin elevation, to my understanding. Not enough to be scared of it, but enough to go, “Oh. That’s not normal, that should be investigated soon.” I just asked hir how that’s shaking out. No answer yet; hopefully soon.

In other news, I’m working on the last phase of my catchup from being out of work for six weeks. I’ve scanned all the documents, I’ve filed them away, and now I’m indexing the scans. There are 600 of them. This is going to take a while, but at least I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s the part of the process that I was looking forward to, actually. I enjoy indexing, a lot. I’d be willing to do it for the whole department, if I thought I could get away with it.

I’m also playing Phantasy Star, and I’m almost finished with it. I’ve been using the walkthrough pretty heavily in the latter half of the game, because I just lost patience with trying to keep all the clues in my head. Some of them are things that I would’ve had no idea to do, like tell the guy who asks if I’ve heard of the Hovercraft yes, I have. There’s absolutely no indication that he doesn’t give a standard, “Oh, okay” answer to that statement, like every other one in the game.

Despite all this, I’ve enjoyed it quite a bit. I need to get the sega collection to play the other three games, which I just added to my Amazon Christmas list. Speaking of Christmas, I’ve gotta get on buying Christmas gifts. It’s August, I know, but it’ll sneak up on us sooner rather than later.

I need to start eating my oatmeal, too. I meant to cancel my order this month, but I forgot. Sigh…

Time to write. 

11:11 make a wish!

Aug. 24th, 2025 11:04 am
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[personal profile] muscle_wizard
At least when I wrote the subject heading c:

Last week was a blur of returning to work and getting my ass metaphorically kicked lol but I was able to recover and am ready to get back to it tomorrow. My stamina always needs to build back up after only seeing private clients for the summer, with the sports team back my workload doubles/triples depending on the week. It went well tho!

Yesterday was a long day trip to see one of my childhood friends and get a mini tour of his neighborhood. We ate yummy vegan Asian food and then got really nice sundaes - we all got some variation of mint ice cream haha. Mostly tho we sat around and chatted in his apartment, played a board game, and shared really good company. Our relationship has had ups and downs, because that's what happens when kids start to grow up, and we started reconnecting in our 20s, and since then we've become people who are really compatible again. I'm really glad, we don't talk often but when we do it's always easy and comfortable. I'm grateful to have his friendship in my life.

Outside of all of that, we were listening to the radio while driving up and when Jessie's Girl came on I immediately wanted to find any queer version of it and this morning I did: lesbian covers never fail to deliver!

We got in late last night so I slept in until almost 10 this morning, with my wife getting me up to make sure I took my morning meds before it was too late.

Today I'm going to go slow and take my time.
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